My lust is always looking for acceptance... It's been my "go-to" drug of choice for years....whenever I've felt unaccepted, unworthy, not good-enough, too fat, too tall, not handsome enough, not strong enough....the list goes on and on. When my parents or siblings weren't around, weren't "there for me emotionally" or when I didn't really know if I was okay with my dad - then lust was the comfort that made everything okay.
When did lust begin filling in the gap? I'm not sure exactly. It's tough to pinpoint an exact moment. I suspect, like most everyone else, it was the gradual drip-drip-drip of lust creeping into my life, slowly putting down roots and then choking everything else out like Kudzu vines do to trees here in the South.
Today I know that lust was never enough, never fulfilling, never delivering what it promised. Lust was like the "bait & switch" type of person that I so loathe....promising love, acceptance, fulfillment, the feeling of being "whole" and "complete", and an end to the pain I was experiencing.....but it never delivered. For years I believed its lies - never wise enough to snap out of it and to answer the question that Dr. Phil has made millions asking "How's that working out for ya?"
So today, I choose truth, light, and the path of my Higher Power, instead of believing those lies that lust wants to sell me. Just for today, I shall find my way through the forest - one tree at a time.