I'm 31 today. Amazingly, I did not act out during my 30th year. The last full year in which I didn't act out was 17 years ago. In those days, my favorite band was Backstreet Boys and I loved watching Saturday morning cartoons (sadly some things haven't changed).
This morning, Lust was the first to wish me "Happy Birthday". He'd brought along the typical tacky gifts of fantasies and temptations. I have a best friend who forgets my birthday every year, so I have to give this to Lust: he remembers birthdays.
Lust is always showing up with gifts... boxes that explode when opened, cupcakes with rat poison cream filling, etc. A few of the gifts started off looking okay, and I was so foolishly optimistic even though I'd been burned so many times. Sometimes I'd mail-order porn and, this is so embarrassing, I was so giddy and happy when it arrived, I'd jump up and down and clap my hands.
I have to admit, with shame, that I've actually used the phrase "Thank you, God!" in reference to porn. It happened when I had just moved into a downstairs basement apartment in a lady's house, and one day I went snooping around in the guest room that was next to mine (where the lady's adult son sometimes slept) and found a pile of porn. What was that, I thought, if not a miraculous gift from above? The son was a huge, muscular guy, by the way, and could have pummeled me into a little pool of goo (not that that stopped me). That stack turned out to be some ultra-hard stuff that got me hooked on a darker type of acting out than I'd ever done before and accelerated my shame to the point that I didn't want to live anymore.
So gifts from Lust are like 2% cashback rewards from credit card companies. They really mean "Give us a hundred dollars, we'll give you two dollars. Then brag to your friends about it." They, like Lust, think I'm that stupid... and, sadly, I kinda am.
This morning I asked my HP to kick Lust out as a present to me, and my HP punted him with such forcefulness I think the last anyone saw of my Lust, he was sailing over Belarus. I hope he lands in an active volcano.