I threw a pity party and nobody came

Self-pity's a big defect for me.  Huge.  You would think I was the only person in the world who ever suffered.
Holocaust, genocide, starvation?  That's nothing.  When that guy in the hall didn't return my smile, now there was a human rights violation.
Today some people will lose their lives.  But I lost my car keys this morning and that's the real tragedy.
Some people were abused by their parents.  My parents were a bit strict and I cry, "Why, O Lord, was I born to such a family?"
I think I could have pitied myself for any family I was born into.  If I'd been born to fabulously wealthy parents, I would have thought, "We were so rich, I had everything handed to me on a silver platter.  I was never taught to work for anything."
If I'd been born into an absolutely perfect family, I would have thought, "We were completely normal.  We never did anything wrong.  What a cookie-cutter family from hell!  Who can live up to such standards?"
I think I've shared before that I've found a way to grumble at each level of sobriety.
Before sobriety I said, "Why, O Lord, can't I get sobriety?"
When I got sobriety, I said, "This is too hard."
These days sobriety is easier, I spend days in relative peace, and I think, "Now I'm bored."
I have a  logic that makes it easier to believe in an eternal Higher Power, because the patience it would take for any power to put up with me would have to be infinite.
Self-pity likes to flock together with other birds of prey.  When I have a problem, it's usually the triple cheeseburger of trouble: fear, self-pity, and resentment.  I get scared (fear), I think, "Why me?" (self-pity), then I say, "Hey, this isn't fair!" (resentment).  I'll start cycling through all three continually like a hamster wheel.
I'm also very dramatic.  I feel misunderstood by the world.  Have I actually talked to the world?  No, it wouldn't understand.
Because sometimes in my past, people haven't understood.  Some people have hurt me when I've been the most vulnerable.  I'm like a man who got food poisoning once so he refuses to eat anymore.  But if I'm going to live in this world, I have to keep eating and I have to keep taking the risk of communing with others.