Having to rely on HP

Having faced euphoric recall of my past acting out late every night lately, when I thought a few years sobriety should protect me from that, and realizing the impossibility of my dealing with lust on my own,  I have come to a gob-smacking conclusion:

What if I am a Sexaholic so that I would have to rely on my HP around the clock?

The realisation that this may indeed be the case has brought me extraordinary peace and gratitude....from being a miserable man afflicted with an incurable disease, to being the most blessed of men - a man learning, thanks to his impossible weaknesses, what it is like to rely on and to live with his HP around the clock... 

Now I see clearly why I suffered so long from depression... because my acting out meant I was out of touch with my HP around the clock - but prior to SA I never knew there was anything else in store for me. Paradoxically, now that I have to be with my HP around the clock, if I am to be happy and at peace with myself, I find that I am also experiencing what it means to be really free.. What a miracle...