Giving up fear and pride

My dishonesty, both within my SA programme and in other areas of my life, is often rooted in fear and pride. It took a number of years in SA to discover this, but a homegroup member's share helped me to see it. I fear being hurt or judged. I also fear pain and discomfort - another reason why I run to my addiction. I also fear being wrong because I cannot handle being flawed and therefore worthless.
 
I am also full of pride and hate to admit that I've made a mistake, taken the wrong action or taken my will back. To humble myself and admit my mistakes and faults is painful. So I choose to lie, omit the truth, fudge, change the subject or do anything except tell the truth.
 
However, as Chapter Five of Alcohoilcs Anonymous explains, the only way to get recovery is to live with complete Honestly. Do I want to give up my fear and pride? On some level yes, but probably not enough to change my life. However, I also know that the alternative to living with complete honestly is staying in my addiction and that is just pain and more pain. Living with rigorous honestly is difficult, but less painful than living in the addiction and completely focused on when I am going to act out next.