Prior to joining SA, I was not satisfied with life; something was missing; I was not happy. I pointed my finger at everything else in life as the cause of my inner misery and my wife was my favourite target. If only she would change, life would be perfect. I was the actor grabbing the director's role.
One song goes, "When you point your finger cos your plan fell through - you got three more fingers pointing back at you". I was the problem and, when I finally realized this, I joined SA.
I'm a low-bottom lust drunk who did not experience any major consequences. I did not lose my job or get caught cheating by my wife. I was never arrested or infected with an STD.
At my first meeting, I heard "The Caution" in the SA White Book. I was very excited because I had been trying to find my problem for over 10 years. And now I had found it and had a name for it - sexaholism. I wanted to rejoice and tell the whole world (except for my wife).
I share this disease with other sexaholics who understand my struggles and who can share their experience, strength and hope on how they applied the principles of SA to gain lust recovery. I share my experience others who are looking for help - usually via our Intergroup Hotline.
If a friend outside of programme mentions to me that he has an issue with lust or acting out, I share cautiously about my experience of lust addiction and the solution that I've found.
I do not volunteer my SA experience without a true and clear path from my Higher Power. I especially stay away from diagnosing others as potential lust addicts and trying to save them - that would be pride.
I am very grateful for the White Book, the AA Big Book, SA, those who documented the problem and solution and those who practice and share their experience of the Steps to recovery. All this wisdom is now at my finger tips to be applied to my own life.
I'm so grateful not to be that miserable guy who spent 10 years pointed his finger at other people.