The easiest, softest way to sexual sobriety

The 12 Steps of SA are the easiest, softest way to sexual sobriety, because every other way to sobriety that I’ve tried didn’t work!  It wasn’t that they were harder; they just didn’t work! What happened with every other way is that I’d be sober for a while – a week, a month, hardly ever longer – and then I’d give in again.  So they weren’t really “ways to sobriety” after all.  

These "other ways" for me (the ones that didn’t work) included:

  • Using my own will power.  (“I just won’t do this any more.”)
  • Putting obstacles in my way.  (“I’ll just put the temptations in a closet.”)
  • Talking about it with others.  (“I’ve got this problem.  Can you help me be aware of it?”)
  • Psychiatric drugs.  (“Take one each day; it’ll suppress your desire.”)
  • Understanding my problem and its sources.  (“Ah!  It’s all my parents’ fault!”)
  • A religious solution.  (“I’ll really get involved in church.”)
  • Keeping it secret.  (“If no one ever knows, then it doesn’t matter.”)
  • Throwing it all away.  (“There.  This is new start.  I’ll never do this again.”)
  • Just not looking.  (“Look away.  Look away.  Look away.”)
  • Restricting the severity.  (“Okay, this is my new boundary.  I can do everything up to this, but not this.”)
  • And, of course, one of the biggest dodges of all, that obviously didn’t work:
  • Giving in to it and living the lifestyle.  (“If I can’t stop it, then I might as well enjoy it.”)

So, my experience says that the Steps are actually the Easiest, Softest Way to sobriety.