Dual addicted - lust and alcohol

My addiction began when I was introduced to porn movies as a 12 year old child. From then onwards, I had a huge urge to view female nudity whenever I had the chance. If we rented a movie, I’d fast-forward it to find a sex scene or a nude female. My lust increased in power.

I lusted after every female member of my family - my mother’s sisters, my uncle’s girlfriend, girls at my school, female teachers, etc.. Females became an obsession - the fantasy of having sex with each and every one of them was irresistible.

At the age of 17, during my service in the Air Force, I was introduce to prostitutes by a roommate. I discovered sex with without any commitment, all I needed to do was pay them.

After my military service, I went to college, my brother who is one year younger was in high school. My mother, who was already living in USA, would send me money for my college expenses and to buy food for my brother and me. But since I was paying for three prostitutes a day, I spent all the money on them and my brother and I went without food. He was pretty upset when I told him I had spend our mother’s money on prostitutes and alcohol.

This went on for two years until, in 1999, my mother brought us to US with my little sister. The first thing I wanted to on arrival was to satisfy my lust which by that time was far more powerful than me.

On one occasion, I stole $200 from my mother in order to have 10 minutes of sex with a female from an escort service. A few months later I stole another $200 dollars to pay for another prostitute. My lust was out of control. One day my mother gave me $500 to register for English lessons. I ended up spending the money in a go-go bar. I did not have sex with any of the women there but I ended up getting drunk and giving my money to them anyway.

My mother advised me to get into college at that time, but I refused. I said I wanted to work for money to spend in sex and alcohol, since I am also an alcoholic. My mother found me a job in a factory for $5.25 per hour, since I did not know any English at that time. Later on, I became an electrician’s helper and then an electrician. Life was good, I told myself, because I had the money to spend on alcohol and prostitutes.

When I was 19, I met a woman who older than I. She wanted a relationship with me but all I wanted from her was sex. After a while, I just stopped contacting her.

Next I was introduced to street prostitutes by a friend. He showed me the part of town where there are always prostitutes in the street. Yes, that was my best discovery ever! Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday I’d go to nightclubs looking for sex. Since I could not get easy sex there, I’d leave the nightclub drunk to cruise the street looking for a prostitute until I found one, or sometimes two in one night.

By the age of 21, I’d used more that 100 prostitutes. By the age of 32, I'd lost count and was completely out of control. Eight years of earnings as an electrician disappeared on drink and prostitutes.

Within 10 years I was deep in debt. My income was never enough and, hitting bottom in both of my addictions, I finally had to admit that I was powerless over alcohol and lust.

Many times I’d drive to a nightclub, fill myself with drink and lust, and then cruise the streets looking for prostitutes. The next morning my mother or brother would find used condoms in my car. Often I could not remember what I'd done the previous night. My life was unmanageable.

I have spent $800 dollars in a go-go bar in one hour. On more than one occasion, I spent $700 dollars on porn movies. I had to be tested for HIV several times. But I just could not stop my crazy desire for lust.

At the age of 30, after leaving my first AA meeting, I got drunk and had sex with two go-go dancers and one street prostitute, all in one night. This spree cost me and my family over $900 dollars.

That was the night I hit bottom, as an alcoholic and as a sexaholic. I found my way back to AA and did 90 meetings in 90 days. I joined another sex fellowship and then Sexaholics Anonymous.

I had to get an sponsor and do the steps in AA. Then I had to get an sponsor and do my steps in SAA. Today, I have a sponsor in SA and have begun working the 12 steps all over again.

My life had changed a lot since I began attending SA meetings. Today I want a new life - a sober life and a sober me. There is still a lot work to be done within myself - my thinking and behavior - but I’m glad to be on the right track at last.