My sole qualification for SA is my desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober by the SA definition.
In my past periods of sobriety I have either put my relationship before sobriety or my marriage before sobriety. "This", I always said inwardly, "I will not surrender..." and I ended up losing both.
Today, amazingly, I am sharing a house with another sober male SA. We have both remarked that we seem to be learning more about marriage in our present relationship (two sober males living together) than ever we did when we were both married by the SA definition to other people, but were full of lust.
The difference today is that we are both lust-free. To use an old-fashioned word: we have discovered chastity. And today, to be lust-free means that, most of the time, I enjoy an inner freedom and peace I have longed for and never known - until now.
Ironically, some of our neighbours evidently believe that we are two gay men living together. But they are free to believe whatever they like because in sobriety I find I am no longer concerned either with gender orientation, or with what others may think of me. I find myself concerned only with sobriety - in this good, old-fashioned sense of chastity - which SA is showing me daily can work for anyone, gay or straight, married or single. I thank God for showing me these two gifts of chastity and equality - gifts I have found with another sober man!
I am one of those who tried to find it repeatedly in a conventional marriage yet could not. Many can and do. I have just come to accept that I am not one of them. For myself, I have found something even better - at least for now (my HP is a God of infinite surprises, and an incredible sense of irony and humour... ).
My primary purpose today is to walk with anyone who wants what I have found and tried to express here, with thanks to all of my fellow SAs, whatever your background, gender or orientation.