When I first I started attending SA meetings, I was looking for something that would take away my problem, give me the strength to fight it, make it easier for me to resist it in the future. None of that ever worked for me. I failed again and again to achieve sobriety, and recovery completely eluded me. "Without sobriety, there is no program of recovery." SAWB 77
No matter what else I'm working on at any given moment, I never want to forget my Step One reality. I am powerless over lust. That power must come from a source greater than me. That power source is God.
So today as we talked about it, I simply shared that I choose to surrender each lust temptation, each trigger image or thought, each "fantasy object" that crosses my path to God. I do that today because I've lied to myself in the past and started to believe that somehow I had gained some power over lust by all my hard work and effort. And, when that delusional thought took root in my mind, and I thought I could handle just a little lust, the inevitable happened. I was no longer connected to the Source of Power, and I was back under the control of lust. I was no longer free. I returned to being a slave to my compulsions and obsessions.
I never want to forget Step One.