Many of us have had experience in other S Fellowships - Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sexual Compulsives Anonymous, etc. - before we finally found sobriety in SA. It was in SA that I heard at last that my problem was not so much with sex, but with the lust that lies behind it. Sex and relationships turned out to be just the visible tip of the iceberg... it was the lust in my mind - my crazy sexual thinking - that was slowly killing me... I finally understood that I needed progressive victory over lust if I was to enjoy any lasting sobriety and find peace.
I came to Sexaholics Anonymous many years ago, in part because my previous sex fellowship's practice of allowing us to set our own sobriety definition brought me to despair. I saw that I was never going to stop my acting out under such conditions... it felt like I was being encouraged, as an alcoholic, to set my own sobriety definition with fellow customers, inside the bar-room! Hopeless!
SA, I learned, is for those who have discovered that they cannot stop, and need a clear sobriety definition, which in SAs case is: "No sex with self or partners other than the spouse in a marriage between a man and a woman".