Today I began writing my 4th step inventory. After an hour of writing, and another hour of experience, strength and hope from a member who is helping me, I had to stop from exhaustion. It is appears to be a very challenging process. I'm struggling to believe that I can complete it, even with the help of my Higher Power. Intellectually I know this is lie but it does feel like it is.
Earlier today the difficulty and the pain were getting to me, causing me to lose sight of what the program promises to those who commit themselves to it. I was questioning whether or not it was worth it, and why I would want to continue with something that makes stepping on Lego barefoot seem enjoyable.
Then I came home and checked my emails. I saw members who were sharing about the joy they have received, and my Higher Power reminded me of the joys I have experienced recently and of the greater joys to come. Through this experience, I have been filled with greater trust in my HP: in His care for me; His plan; and His ability to take me through what I'm not capable of going through on my own. His will, not mine, be done.