Sexaholics Anonymous Helps Me Stay Sexually Sober
I am grateful for the reminder in Sexaholics Anonymous that my emotions are attached to my addiction. I still struggle sometimes with feeling sad or lonely or ashamed or angry--or just about any other emotion that people experience. Even though my emotions are usually based on present circumstances, they often have roots in my past--and my body sometimes remembers those past events even when I am consciously unaware.
I continually work the SA Twelve Steps in order to gain a new perspective on life, and I have worked with a professional counselor to deal with past trauma. Our Sexaholics Anonymous program makes no claim to solve all life problems, and our literature encourages outside help when necessary. There is no shame in either.
Because I am a sexaholic, my brain harbors the old idea that Iust will solve my discomfort. I am "triggered" when I feel emotions. Unfortunately, Iust is not a very productive solution, and it usually leaves me feeling my emotions even more intensely--and then I experience a greater sense of hopelessness. I find that I am not only attached to Iust but I am attached to my "triggering" emotions. My Iust and my emotions collude to stir up my craving for acting out sexually.
But just as I have learned to accept and surrender Iust in my life, I am learning to accept and surrender my emotions. Lust tells me that there is more to life; lust is my inner spirit's misguided effort to embrace life. The Sexaholics Anonymous Twelve Steps are teaching be a better way to embrace life, and to live life to the fullest. One very important lesson that I've learned is to accept life just as it is today. Accepting the present is essential to my recovery.
My Emotions Are Signals
My emotions are signals - they guide me through life. They suggest to me that maybe something needs attention in my life. And by participating in the fellowship of SA recovery (in SA meetings) and the program of SA recovery (the Twelve Steps) I am learning a more mature and productive way to experience and respond to my emotions.
Today I don't reject my feelings. I listen to my feelings. I release them to my Higher Power and wait for a better answer. I am currently in the midst of a deep sadness, and I am waiting for direction--an answer that is more productive than lust. Sometimes I experience pain, but that is okay because on the other side of the pain there is great healing and wholeness--and working the Sexaholics Anonymous program and the Twelve Steps are the key.