Connecting Via Sexaholics Anonymous

Sexaholics Anonymous Keeps Me Rightly Connected to God

At a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting last week, I heard a newcomer share something that reminded me of what I had to "unlearn" at first, in order to find freedom from lust and sexual acting out. After a number of people each shared their experience, strength, and hope in overcoming lust, the newcomer commented that he saw "a lot of strength in this room."

Early on, I too was in awe of SA members who shared that they had months or even years of sexual sobriety. That seemed impossible to me, but unless these people were all lying, they must have found some way to beat this addiction. They somehow must have gotten stronger and learned how to control it.  But now that I'm one of the people who has some years of sobriety--and who has found some freedom from the obsessions and compulsions of lust, one day at a time--I can say without any hesitation that today I am still powerless over lust.  

Even though I have some years of sexual sobriety today, that does not mean that I am now stronger than lust, nor can I control lust. Lust is more powerful than I am; it is so powerful that "powerless" still accurately describes my condition in relation to lust--and that is a huge reason that I am sober today. I have come to the bedrock conclusion and have completely accepted that I am "powerless over lust" (Sexaholics Anonymous Step One).

I no longer question whether or not I might someday have some power over lust. All of my previous "experiments" on whether or not after a time of sobriety I might have developed some power over lust have always resulted in relapses. I have heard plenty of painful stories from fellow SA members who have also shown me this to be true of other sexaholics.

The goal of the Sexaholics Anonymous Twelve Step program that I am working is not an effort to restore me to some level of strength so that I can fight lust and win the battle through own my power and control. The goal of the SA program that I work is to connect me rightly with God--a God Who has all power, and Who can and will keep me sober and free from lust and sexual acting out, if I work the SA program of recovery. And if i do that, God does for me what I cannot do for myself.

Connecting with God in Sex Addiction Recovery