Why did I spend so many years avoiding God! Insanity! Clearly I am an addict and I do crazy things when I'm using the lust drug. Thank God that I no longer have to use that drug and I can live free of that bondage.
But I really did avoid God for years and years. Even earlier on when I was attending meetings and working my hardest to stay sober, it was all a futile act because I was avoiding God and therefore lacked His power over my addiction
When a temptation would pop into my mind or I'd notice some trigger image or person out there, my first reaction was to take care of myself. But that never worked for long, because I'm powerless over lust. But the delusion was that it was all up to me, and that somehow I could work hard enough, fight hard enough, or become knowledgeable enough to beat this thing, to get control over this thing. It didn't work.
The Steps work. The Steps work because they connected me rightly with God, the One who has all power.
Avoid or connect, which works and which didn't? I now know through experience that connecting with God was the only thing that worked for this addict.