How have I stayed sober this past year?  I didn't; God did it. For me, recovery is a miracle.  For three years, I  was chronic relapser in another S-fellowship that did not have our sobriety definition. After that I attended an SA Skype meeting, and I got information about EMER in Poland. From there I got a sponsor and stayed sober 3.5 months, but I stopped being honest with my sponsor, and then I immediately relapsed and could not stop relapsing.  After more than a month of relapsing on porn and prostitutes, I became frustrated and isolated, and I gave up. This was in the  middle of February 2014.

After that, I was able to stay sober one week, and my loving sponsor was willing to start with me again. At the end of the month, my employer fired me, but I stayed sober!   I learned to be a bit more honest with myself and others, and today I have been sober since January 5, 2015, by the of grace of God.

So what has worked for me? Working the Twelve Steps more intensively has helped me stay sober.  Also, I now start my day each morning with all of the Twelve Step prayers. I say gratitudes. I pray many times a day; prayers like:  “GOD I AM POWERLESS PLEASE HELP ME!!!” I surrender  my fears every day, and I ask God what He would like to have of me. I do resentment inventories whenever it is necessary. I pray to God that I would be kind, tolerant, and patient with my fellows, as well as to myself. I have daily contact with members who have long-term sobriety; they give me hope. I also pray Twelve Step prayers with them. During working days, I am in contact with my sponsor every day.

Service to my family (Step Nine) in SA  and at work is very healthy for me. I am still increasing my Step Zero to save myself from lust: No switching TV channels; no sitting opposite women in the train or bus; no staying in resentment, fear, sexual fantasy, or isolation (I must share these things immediately, even when I want to continue lust,, and what is good for me is three shares per day).  I also surrender a few times a day to God and my fellows: perfection, comparing, computing, competing. I surrender control of my fellows (including my ex-wife and children); instead I give time to every individual and strive to be helpful for them with whatever they need.

Thanks to my fellows, I also deleted my facebook account; blocked images on the Internet and on skype. I do not attend the AA meetings that have women who are attractive to me.  I keep Youtube in safe mode. I read SA and AA literature and listen audios. I attend a minimum of three SA meetings per week. I sponsor another sexaholic, and I am grateful for that. But what I see still more clearly is that without the fellowship, I could do nothing.

I am grateful who I have already already met in the fellowship. To be in middle of the triangle (Meetings, Steps, Service) is the best protection for imperfect me, just for today.