At first, my addict brain kept forgetting what actions enable sexual sobriety for me. But today I have tools that help me to stay sober: making phone calls, attending meetings, giving and receiving sponsorship, and working the Twelve Steps. Those actions enable sexual sobriety in my life.
My addict brain would like me to think that I can stop myself from acting out, or that I’ll be okay if I can just stay off the Internet, or if I just don’t look around too much. Of course those things help, but that is not the SA program, and therefore that is not what keeps me sober. Today when I see something that triggers my lust, my first impulse is to pull away and avoid the trigger--or maybe even get closer. But neither approach is the SA program. Instead, making phone calls, attending meetings, participating in sponsorship, and working the Twelve Steps are actions that build the"new" me--a sober me. My experience, strength, and hope is that by keeping up the SA program of recovery, I will stay sober today and I will continue to recover.
My Actions Enable Sexual Sobriety in Sexaholics Anonymous
As I have worked the Sexaholics Anonymous Twelve Steps, I have seen a lot of ugly the parts of my character come out. And in improving my character, I have sometimes gone through phases where (to the people around me) I probably actually look like I’ve gone backward. I realized in my Step Four that much of my former life was guided by fear and avoidance. Trying to face my fears caused me to treat some people badly, and then eventually I would act out.
The program of Sexaholics Anonymous has kept me sober since 2015
At first, I wanted to be sober only to avoid upsetting my wife. Eventually, I had to learn to get sober for myself, and that was difficult. I also tried various experimentations with hormones, antidepressants, and ADHD stimulants. I must have appeared pretty messed up at times.
Recovery for me has never been a straight line, and to those around me it probably has at times appeared to be quite scary. I realize today that each of us has our own journey. And just as sober SA members were open and supportive of me at first, I need to be supportive of my new SA brothers. I can’t wait to see what my Higher Power has in store for me next!