When I was an active sex addict, all the stuff I did before acting out was based on selfishness, self-centeredness, restlessness, irritability, and discontent (because of the selfishness and self-centeredness). In short, I was angry, resentful, and full of fear and anxiety. I hated myself and others. And all of those negative emotions led me straight to a path of acting out.  So acting out was the last thing I did in a long path of self-destruction that began with self-will run riot, as the AA Big Book says.

But thanks to working the Steps with a sponsor in Sexaholics Anonymous, I now have a way out of that path to self-destruction, and that path begins with surrender.  I have a manner of living that works and continues to work.  One of the biggest things I have learned in recovery is that I never had as much power as I thought I did, but my ego sure likes to let me think that I do.