I didn't arrive at SA via "enlightened self interest. " For me it was more of the "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization variety.” I was "beaten into a state of reasonableness" by 40 years of active sexaholism.
One thing I did do when I got to SA was follow directions. I wrote out a complete and thorough Step One. I started with my earliest memories and wrote them all out. Some were triggering. I had to stay close to the fellowship in order to get through it, but I needed to look under every rock and expose the secrets I had been holding inside. I gave my First Step to my sponsor and then to some members of my local SA fellowship.
Something wonderful happened during that process. It might be that the evidence and the truth of who I was in my disease finally surfaced. There were no more excuses, exceptions, angles, lies, justifications, etc. I am a sexaholic, and with some of you sitting with me in that room that day, it was okay. You gave me the love and support I needed to finally admit and accept the truth about myself.
I don't know you but I love every one of you.