I recently heard an SA member share about being "stuck in a cycle," and it reminded me of a passage from the AA Big Book, “The Doctor’s Opinion” (AA xxiii - xxx). This passage, as written by the good doctor 80 years ago for alcoholics, reminds me of my disease of me, and my disease of sexaholism:
“Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable, and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks--drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
On the other hand--and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand--once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules." (AABB xxvi - xxvii)
Members of SA who are still looking for a solution might try finding a copy of the book Alcoholics Anonymous (known as the “Big Book”) and giving it a read, especially the first 164 pages. Roy K., the founder of SA, said he could relate to the alcoholics right down the line, and our SA program of recovery is based on the principles of AA.
When I finally accepted the simple truth about myself that I found that I was home. Recovery begins with surrender.