424 Acting As If

At first, all I believed in was my sickness and lack of faith.  Soon, however, I was telling myself, ‘I hope it’s all true’.  Then I began acting as if it were, and faith in the program was established. (SA 90)

An important part of our recovery is acting as if.  We are told to act as if we have a Higher Power that wants us to recover.  We are told to act as if we can do the things we need to do to stay sober.  We are told to take the actions of recovery and the feelings will follow.

When I first heard this, my addict had a bunch of excuses why this would not work.  Acting as if� implied I was lying about my feelings; isn’t that dishonest?  Acting as if I had a Higher Power that cared for me?  Please.  Doesn’t anyone see the news?

Then it occurred to me, I had been acting as if my whole life.  I had been acting as if� viewing pornography had no negative consequences.  I had been acting as if my addictive behavior would have no negative effect on my relationship with my wife and family.  I had been acting as if my emotions could forever be dealt with by addictive behavior.  I had been acting as if, but I was basing my acting as if on the wrong assumptions.

Our program of recovery has taught me the right actions to take, and the right facts to base the acting as if on.  Recovery does, indeed, require acting as if, but now I act as if I have a higher power that loves me and wants me sober.

Higher Power, teach me how to act my way into right thinking.