339 A Conversation with God

Our actor is self-centered-ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation;

(AA 61)

Soon I will be retired. I can do what I want, when I want, if I want (unless my wife says otherwise). Late breakfasts, afternoon naps, working in the garden: I will get paid just for breathing. I get a fantasy hit just thinking about it.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could retire from recovery as well? I’ve been working this program long enough; twenty four hours a day. I deserve a break, so I could just “rest” and visit Fantasy Island anytime I want for as long as I want. Sure beats working the Steps or all the other things ‘retirees’ do. Then I think to seek through prayer what 

God’s will for me might be so I say: 

“Uh, “God?"

“Yes, my child.”

“I’m thinking about retiring from recovery”

“There you go, thinking again. What does your sponsor say?”

“Well, he’s a busy man and I think he’s on vacation”

“Why did you come to me?”

“Well, you’re so loving and tolerant and...”

“What do you really want?”

“I want to be happy, joyous, lazy and FREE!”

“Then do what the Big Book says.”

“Yeah, I’ve already read all about those Steps. They sound good for a sexaholic who’s really sick.”

“And you’re not?”

“I guess I’d better put my recovery retirement on hold.”

“That’s up to you. By the way, you’re late for your meeting. Tell the others I said, ‘Hi’.”

“Okay; I will. And thanks.”

God, please grant me insight into all my into all my defects and may I stay active in my recovery.