330 God is Watching

If he does not, you will probably not have long to wait. Again, you should not crowd him.  Let him decide for himself. (AA 113)

When my daughter was 6 years old she got upset and declared she was running away from home. As she started up the road toward her school playground, I followed discreetly.

I once ran away and found the wonderful playground of addiction, with its many objects to entertain me. No one, not even God, to stop me; I had found my own higher power.

At first my daughter seemed to be enjoying her newfound independence. She occasionally glanced toward home to see if anyone was coming. 

I, too, took an occasional glance at reality, hoping I might see something more satisfactory for my life. 

By dusk she was looking all the way down to our house. Finally, she started down the road, walking right past my hideout without seeing me.

I too got tired of my darkening playground, but I did not take the first step until the darkness overwhelmed me.

I do not remember what happened after my daughter reached home. Probably I told her at some point that I had followed her. I am sure I let her know she was never alone. I had watched but just as importantly, I had waited, waited for her to make her decision.

I believe my Higher Power was watching over me while I acted out, waiting patiently for me to ‘come home.’ When I took that First Step, He welcomed me back into the human family, and I am still His child today.

I thank God for His patience in awaiting my decision and hospitality upon my return.