Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. (AA 38‒39)
The most thrilling fair ride for me as a child was the bumper cars. I loved to drive my car into another one, preferably head on, then turn the wheel, stomp the pedal, and do it again.
My sexaholism was like that. In my addiction, I rushed toward any lust object, made some weak connection, hurt people, and pursed another target. The target was unimportant; no precautions or apologies needed, buy another ticket and do it again.
Much like the jaywalker in AA, my acting out gave me the feeling of being in control of the objects around me. All I needed was the temporary connection.
Eventually, my sexaholic bumper car collided with reality. The ride was over, and I thought I would die. But I found help in SA, and Step by Step I am recovering. I have connected with a Power greater than lust, a Real Connection, and I know that I will live!
God, help me stay out of the amusement park and on the road to recovery.