I needed someone who could see me better than I could … It was reaching out and taking direction that worked. I made regular contact and followed directions. (SA 163)
When I came to SA I was welcomed by a member who said, “it takes rigorous honesty to work this program.” I was scared but I joined anyway.
In the beginning, I chose a sponsor and listened to him. I tried to do the Steps; but it was painful to look at myself, so I stopped. After that, my sponsor left SA and I decided to do the Steps on my own. I shared my Fourth Step with another member. I was very involved in SA service. Being married, I was technically sober and I took a regular chip for sobriety, but my relationship with my wife was not getting better after 11 years of sobriety.
While attending a convention, I could no longer deny something was wrong with my sobriety and the relationship with my wife. I was talking with a member and I asked him to be my sponsor, even though he was lived far from me and I had resentment toward him. He accepted. When I told him about my resentment toward him, he said, “That’s your business, not mine.” Talking to him that evening, it became clear that I was using my wife to feed my lust. I had to stop but I could not do it alone. I became willing to take direction.
In consultation with my sponsor, I reset my sobriety date. This became a turning point in my recovery. I have been sober ever since. The result of taking this action has given me more serenity, and I now love who I am. I am still married and working the Program one day at a time. I am not trying to change anyone else. With the help of my Higher Power and my sponsor I am changing myself.
God, please give me the serenity to accept that sex is only an option and that option belongs to you. Thy will, not mine, be done.