But we have found that acceptance of these facts is the key to a happy and joyous freedom we could otherwise never know. (SA 4)
Sobriety and recovery do not ensure my life will go smoothly. They do provide the tools with which I can make better choices when handling the rough parts.
I sit in a long and trying commute home from work. Hoping to get out before the snow worsened the rush hour, I left work early, got in my car, and picked up my wife downtown instead of at the usual suburban subway station. Two hours later, we had moved a mere three miles! Clearly I made a mistake coming downtown, and my temper rose with each stationary moment. One of my warning signs is score-keeping. When I mentally list my sources of pain – in this case the actual or distorted speed and time – I am using that information to highlight my victimhood or storing it to gain sympathy from people when I recount this incident.
I desperately want to get home and make up my missed work hours, but every new snowflake dims this hope. Then I was struck, not by another car, but by the words of the Serenity Prayer, which I paraphrased: God grant me serenity to accept the snow I cannot change, courage to drive sanely, and gratitude for the investment of love by giving my wife a ride. I chose to accept the situation and make the best of it. I let go, paid attention to my driving, admired the beauty of the snow, and chatted with my wife. We arrived home safely with my serenity and car intact.
HP, thank you for giving me the strength to avoid reactions and instead make wise choices.