309 To Reconcile

Batch 31 #309

The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise… It is harder to go to an enemy

than to a friend, but we find it much more beneficial to us. We go to him in a helpful and

forgiving spirit, confessing our former ill feelings and expressing our regret. (AA 77)

It does me no good to try to making amends to someone without first changing my attitude that

first caused the disturbance. Identifying the defect through inventory, sharing it with a member

or sponsor, praying for its removal, and taking action that is the opposite of the defect and deals 

with the flaw itself, but does not mean I have forgiven the person.

I sometimes imagine the moment just before I die and ask these questions, “Is there any reason 

why I should hold onto animosity, injury, or resentment? What good could come from wasting

my last seconds on such foolishness?” It would be unfortunate to die unable to let go and 

experience freedom. What would God have me do?

That makes sense, but what about this moment? I am trying to take my short-comings off of 

life‑support so that I can be free. Transferring my meditation to the present, it is clear that I must

ask for the spiritual strength and courage of my Higher Power to die to self and forgive others.

Forgiveness requires effort from me to allow certain attitudes and beliefs to die. I must seek to 

discover and put to an end the things that separate me from the rest of mankind and my Higher 

Power. No one can abolish the debts I have imposed upon others. That is up to me. There is no 

way of knowing when I have my last opportunity to let go. It is best to do it in each moment 

rather than plan on doing it when it may be too late.

Dear God: May I be reconciled with you, with myself and with other human beings; May I be 

reborn in forgiveness and mercy