Batch 30 #300
"We realize we know only a little" (SA 169)
I know so much less than I think I do. I am more ignorant than I realize. Before recovery I used to think it was the other way around. The only path forward is humility. Claiming knowledge or wisdom is false pride and an illusion. The illusion of understanding hampers my growth by closing me off from what I can learn.
Another illusion is control. I have almost none. Sometimes I perceive a controlling of success or failure, but these are false or, at best, temporary. I can no more control my own life than I can control the world around me. The beauty of the Program is I do not have to understand or believe in this path in order to begin.
I can see others who worked the Twelve Steps and found recovery from sexual addiction. I know that many of them lived with the same illusions I did. They must have had the same doubts and the Program worked for them. It can do the same for me.
Higher Power, help me to have the courage to begin even before I believe.