Batch 30 #297
I can bury the truth under an excess of words. One way to help me let the truth come out is, when writing a journal entry or a new Fourth Step, I allow myself only six words to identify my discomfort. More than six words suggests I may be probably trying to hide something.
Today, in my Tenth Step journal entry, the first resentment was against my wife because, "She didn't ask for or remember the time we were supposed to arrive at a party and how people would look at me because we were late."
All of this seemed dishonest and misleading. The self-righteous tone was as much a clue as the number of words. I amended the resentment to, "How others would perceive our coming late and I couldn't blame the tardiness on my wife," (16 words), then to, “How people would look at me for choosing an irresponsible mate".
I kept erasing and rewriting until I found the root, "I fear others' opinions of me". It was fear, not resentment, and my addict-side buried the fear. Unconscious fears keep me restless, irritable, and discontent—just how my addicted-side wants me to be.
The forced economy of words uncovered the real issue. Now I can take action.
Higher Power, help me to find what is really upsetting me, for only then can I find solutions.