291 Keep Coming Back

Batch 30 #291

“we … practice these principles in all our affairs.” (SA 6) 

As a recovering sexaholic, I can easily fall into the trap of thinking God got me sober so I can be a shining example to others. This thinking is usually accompanied by a spirit of competitiveness and the temptation to compare my life with the lives of people who never needed 12 Step recovery. It is an insidious form of stinking thinking. Experience tells me the fruits of being a shining example are fear, smugness, arrogance, and dishonesty.

God did not get me sober to keep me immune from the trials and tribulations of life. If I compare my life today with the lives of people who appear to do well without a program, I start thinking the fellowship and the Steps are unnecessary, that with my own effort and will I can achieve the standard God wants. However, experience tells me if I am connected to God, my life might produce a desire for sobriety in others, not admiration for being sober myself.

Obsession with my image gets in the way of my usefulness to God. God does not expect me to be perfect but wants me to practice these principles in all my affairs so I can be useful to Him and others. Meanwhile, I will keep coming back and endeavor to lead with my weakness.

God, make me truly grateful today for all the opportunities to be of service to the still-suffering sexaholic.