290 Barcodes in the sand

Batch 29 #290

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” (SA 208)

In a meeting, a newcomer declared he had drawn ‘a line in the sand’ and would never act out again. Several of us looked at each other. We knew how he felt, but were also well aware of our past resolves and how unsuccessful we had been.

When I spoke, I remarked I had drawn and crossed so many lines in the sand that if they were lined up side-by-side it would look like a barcode. People laughed, but later I thought about the comparison.

All barcodes look the same, but like fingerprints are different. Some lines are thick, some medium, and some very thin. They are in a certain order for a reason, so in a sense each barcode is a unit. Together they make up a ‘picture’ to show the description and price of an item. In order to register the correct price, every line has to be ‘crossed’ by the scanner.

In order to stop ‘crossing lines’ I have to know what the lines are. Some were thin: just one small bit of gossip, and some were broader, such as hanging on to a powerful lust hit. That is where the Fourth Step comes in. It’s the ‘scanner’ that shows me the whole picture, and lets me know the ‘price’ I have to pay to stay in recovery.

Higher Power, help me to be thorough and honest as I search my heart and soul for the real me.