289 Tennis Anyone?

Batch 29 #289

“Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the sexaholic who still suffers.” (SA 209)

We had an unusual meeting tonight, discussing Tradition Five and it was the closest thing I have seen to a disagreement in six years in SA.

One member said he comes to meetings not because he needs more friends, or doesn’t have anything else to do that night. He comes for his own sobriety. “We’re not a team,” he said. “We’re each a sick individual who wants to recover from sexaholism.” His point was that all of us come to the group for our own benefit—to get what we need to stay sober. Whether someone else finds help is optional. Well said.

Another member across the room looks at it differently. He believes we are a team, because he never leaves a meeting without gaining some worthwhile input from other members. We are all fighting a spiritual battle and need each other’s experience, strength, and hope. In that sense we are working together. Good point.

As I sat looking from one to the other, I felt like I was viewing a tennis match. The discussion did not go any further, so I mentally gave each one an equal score: 15 all. They are both right. The tennis theme got my attention, and being obsessive I thought about it all the way home. Tennis is an ‘I’ sport; I play to win. Whether the other person scores is really not my concern. But I can’t play by myself. I need someone to return my serve. So I go to meetings for me, but also for others. Unlike tennis, I want us ALL to win! 

Lord, please help us to focus on our recovery and thank you for the program that lets each and every one of us to participate and benefit.