014 Dependency


January xxx

If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our incessant demands.  (12 and 12 p. 53)

My dependency on others was never healthy. When I met my husband-to-be, he was attending an all male school. Bonus! What a great place to visit to get my ego fed! Being lusted after by men made me feel valued. My lust to be desired expanded. Not surprisingly, marriage just couldn’t fill my need for attention.

No problem. Since my husband didn’t seem to want me as much as I thought he should, I decided to get that adoration from others. I sought another, and then another, and then another. Twenty-seven years of seeking a love to fill my void. Twenty-seven years of getting a temporary fix of being lusted after. Twenty-seven years of failing.

SA changed all of that for me. SA showed me a Higher Power who loves me despite all the havoc and devastation I have caused. I found a fellowship of men and women who accept me with all my defects. I nolonger depend on sexual favors to feel valued. I now turn to my Higher Power to fill my void rather than sexual partners. I now can love and do for others without an expectation of return. How blessed my life is today!

Higher Power, keep me sober and making the only real connection that will fill my needs—You.