013 Self-pity

R-LC BATCH 2 # 013

January xxx

Self-pity is one of the unhappiest and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. (As Bill Sees It, p. 238)

My childhood was a hellish experience. I was chronically ill, emotionally and physically abused by my parents, criticized by my siblings, and rejected and persecuted by my peers. As I became an adult, I learned to play the role of victim and blamed others for all my troubles. And I used those problems as an excuse to act out sexually.

When I found my way into Sexaholics Anonymous, I got a sponsor and began to work the Twelve Steps. I worked earnestly and began to experience sobriety, by God’s grace.

While I was working Steps Four and Five, my sponsor helped me see that to recover from lust and my other character defects, I would have to stop blaming others and accept responsibility for my actions. In Steps Eight and Nine, I was able to let go of my victim mentality and to forgive my abusers and myself. And in doing that, I have found a peace and serenity which I never would have believed possible.