In early recovery, I tried to be successful academically, to stay clean and sober (or at least not let others know that I wasn't clean and sober), to keep my family and friends satisfied, to....and so on.

I felt like a juggler who was juggling too many problems!  Actually I was just powerless over lust (addiction) and my life had become unmanageable. And I tried so hard to ignore that reality too.

Then the Program found me and I started working the 12 Steps of Sexahilics Anonymous with a sponsor and attended meetings. As a result I became able to  "let go and let God" and just "do the next right thing".