In coming to Sexaholics Anonymous, I wanted more than just "not acting out". I’d tried just not acting out, and it was miserable. I knew that living that celibate life would only lead me to one of two places: suicide, or a return to acting out. I knew when I came that I needed to find a different kind of life.
I wanted the peace of a life in recovery, a peace that comes through making right choices on a moment-by-moment basis, a peace that is the result of a life well lived, a peace with myself without acting out. But there is no way that kind of peace would exist in the climate of my soul as it was. If I wanted to nurture that kind of peace, then I had to change my inner climate.
Oldtimers had told me that the Steps would change my life, so that I could be at peace without acting out. They were right. The only peace I have ever known in my life has been these years of recovery, from working the Steps under the guidance of a sponsor within the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous. I needed to change, and I am very thankful to my fellow SAs and to the God whom I found through SA, for the change that has happened to me.