Welcome to the Members Share section of our website.
Here members of Sexaholics Anonymous share their experience, strength and hope. There are stories for everyone, from all walks of life. We hope that you can find inspiration from these shares.
Please always remember that the Member Shares are not official literature of Sexaholics Anonymous, they remain the personal opinions of their respective authors.
I have always wanted instant healing from my sexaholism but recovery takes time - one day at a time. I have to remember not to give up before the miracle happens. I have to let go of expectations and the tyranny of “the shoulds” (meaning that I should be this way or I should be that way)....
Our Finnish fellowship held an open meeting recently, which was also streamed over the internet for the benefit of those who couldn't attend in person. Three newcomers were present and over twelve people participated via the internet. A flyer was prepared, printed and distributed, all of which...
I changed sponsors a week ago. I finally found the courage to call my previous sponsor and let him know that I've asked someone else to sponsor me. This was difficult for me. I'm very "needy" (codependent?), and I was worried about how he might feel--wondering if he would feel hurt--and I could...
Letter to a dear friend who left SA because of differences over the sobriety definition
Thank you for your heartfelt and well reasoned farewell letter. Although I feel sadness at your departure, there is also a sense of relief that the truth is now out. The line has been drawn in...
I am a candy addict. What’s that you say? That this is Sexaholics Anonymous and I shouldn't share about food--that it is against the Traditions, that we keep it to our specific drug, namely lust? Well, that's exactly what I am talking about! I am addicted to a particular type of candy: eye...
I got married twice before finding my way into Sexaholics Anonymous. I thought those marriages would save me but my best thinking got me divorced.
You see, I have an allergy to lust: I break out in divorces.
I got married with only one week of sobriety in Sexaholics Anonymous. I had just started with my sponsor, and he said that it might be a good idea to postpone the wedding until I had more sobriety and recovery--but he understood that it was shortly before the wedding and cancelling would have...
“A.A. has many single alcoholics who wish to marry and are in a position to do so. Some marry fellow A.A.’s. How do they come out? On the whole these marriages are very good ones. Their common suffering as drinkers, their common interest in A.A. and spiritual things, often enhance such...
As a member of Sexaholics Anonymous, I work my spiritual program of recovery in the way described in Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Like AA, SA is a program of rigorous honesty, so if I notice some compulsive behaviour in myself, I talk that...
I have heard it said : "Be gentle with your relapsing sex addict brother: he might become your sponsor one day." Sexaholics Anonymous is for recovering sex addicts, not just for the sober ones. So, the challenge is how to include everyone without exception, as long as he or she has a desire to...
These are the top ten things NOT to say to one's Sexaholics Anonymous Sponsor
10- I don't really feel that you're listening to me enough.
9- The Twelve Steps are technically just suggestions, right?
8- My therapist disagrees with you...
7- That's not very convenient...
As a love cripple in my sex addiction, I would confuse sex with love. I thought that if a woman or man would have sex with me, then she or he obviously loved me. When my first and second wives would not have sex with me when I wanted it, that meant to me that they did not love me. Now, being...
Three weeks ago, I got married and moved from Belgium to Spain to live with my wife. I had many fears about this transition, but I can see today that the reality is quite different from the fears that my mind had tried to impose on me. The reality today, by the grace of my Higher Power, is very...
In the book Sexaholics Anonymous, on page 24, our founder (and first sober member) wrote something like this:
“The obsession to lust and sexual obsession are gone. I have been set free. Not cured. I am still a sexaholic. My programming still wants me to turn my head and take a 'drink' of...
I’ve been taking university classes lately, and somehow things seem more difficult now that I no longer have my drug of lust to medicate. In the past, lust would numb me from my fears. But now without lust, fear seems more real. In my addiction, I was so heavily medicated with lust that I was...
I had a six-year lay-off in my early Sexaholics Anonymous recovery, and this gave me all the time I needed to get through my Step work and into SA recovery service. Later, I retired five years early. This has given me 12 delightful years of full time SA service work--and the amazing thing is...
The idea of God is what kept me away from Twelve Step programs for many years. When I finally came into Sexaholics Anonymous, I was so sick that I no longer really cared about what anyone believed. In fact, I was trying to save the affair I was having behind my wife's back, and I thought SA...
Just this morning I was sharing with my Sexaholics Anonymous sponsor that I was feeling disconnected from my Higher Power. I had lost the sense of powerlessness and unmanageability. I told him that I was feeling more focused on work problems, and that I wanted to resolve those problems rather...
The energetic connection
I was raised with two different religious traditions and tended to adopt a somewhat á la carte approach in...
I make calls every day to men in our program, and most of the time I call just to say, “Hello, how are you doing?” because I must learn to give and not just take. Those calls can be five or ten minutes each, or sometimes as long as an hour. The Sexaholics Anonymous program is like a full-time...
I take everything personally. That's because I'm self-centered. The problem is that this gets in the way of me having a real relationship with anyone because I keep getting in the way. “God, help me today to set myself aside and allow the people in my life to be themselves, to own their own...
Yesterday evening, before my Sexaholics Anonymous home meeting, someone asked why he couldn't stay sober, and the following came to my mind:
As the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous says on page 44, "To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy...
I arrived in Sexaholics Anonymous broken, hopeless, and desperate. I began working the Steps with my SA sponsor, as they are laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I now continue to use the Steps as a design for living. I generally attend four...
I have realized in my sex addiction recovery that my Higher Power makes all my dreams come true. I heard a great Al-Anon speaker yesterday.. She said that in recovery, God will either give us our dream or He will give us something better. And that has been my...
Before Sexaholics Anonymous recovery, I always depended on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like, and even today this still stands in my way. I am powerless over my need for prestige and security from others, and especially...
In my disease I could not afford to be wrong; I could not let myself be seen to fail. I believes that in certain areas of my life (as I saw it) depended on me doing it perfectly--and if I did not achieve that goal, I felt that would be catastrophic. God, just...
Yesterday was the last day at my job, where I have worked for almost six years. This morning I moved out of my flat. I’m heading back now to clean some more. Then I will see the landlord to give the keys back and hopefully get the guarantee back. I will sleep...
I don't have a problem stopping to act on my lust. I can do that--for a while at least. But I suffer from an obsession of the mind. My inner world is out of sync with reality. I can't accept life on life's terms without help. God, I am powerless of life! Without...
When I came into Sexaholics Anonymous recovery I was an emotionally immature person. After I started building up some sober time, I was able to see the truth about myself. In the past, everything in my life had revolved around other people’s reactions to me. How...
A Day without prayer and meditation is a day without seeking an improvement of my conscious contact with the One Who gave me new life. What would be the sense of sobriety, of working the Sexaholics Anonymous programme, if I do not search for God's will for my...
