Select stories from recovering sex addicts

Welcome to the Members Share section of our website.

Here members of Sexaholics Anonymous share their experience, strength and hope. There are stories for everyone, from all walks of life. We hope that you can find inspiration from these shares.

Please always remember that the Member Shares are not official literature of Sexaholics Anonymous, they remain the personal opinions of their respective authors.

Miracles

The Many Miracles of Sexholics Anonymous

I have experienced many miracles in my life, and the miracles continue to flow in. I know deep inside that I am a sexaholic, and that I will always be a sexaholic. Without my loving Higher Power, I am a complete failure. But just for today, when...

Humility

Humility was a lesson I needed to learn

The  “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous tells me at the beginning of Chapter Three:

We [sexaholics] are men and women who have lost our ability to control our [lusting]. We know that no real [sexaholic] ever recovers control. All

...

Actions Enable Sexual Sobriety

At first, my addict brain kept forgetting what actions enable sexual sobriety for me. But today I have tools that help me to stay sober:  making phone calls, attending meetings, giving and receiving sponsorship, and working the Twelve Steps. Those actions enable sexual sobriety in my life....

Memories

I cannot make my memories disappear

Concerning my thoughts and memories, my first SA sponsor warned me that my mind was a dangerous neighborhood for me to be alone in.

Years ago, a gentle and wise psychologist asked me to write down some of my early childhood memories. He pointed...

Scary Steps

These Scary Steps Are Actually Love in Action

Are the Steps scary? Early on I asked an old-timer how long would I have to work the Twelve Steps. He replied, "You have to work the Steps until you learn to live the Steps."  I had no idea what he meant by that.  

As the Sexaholics...

Expectations

Expectations - Premeditated Resentments

Through Sexaholics Anonymous I have come to realize that my own expectations of other people are what cause me most the most heartache. Recently I was ill, so I took sick leave from work. I expected understanding from the members of my department...

Surrender

I spent a lot of years "struggling" to surrender to God. I wrote "struggling" in quotes because I've learned a whole lot more about both struggling and surrendering by doing the very thing that Sexaholics Anonymous offers as a program of recovery: to work the Twelve Steps under the direction of...

Sexually Abused

Ever since I was a very young boy, I was sexually abused by all of the other boys in my large extended family. One of the earliest memories of my childhood was during the wartime era in my country. I remember waking up in my mother’s arms because of the sound of heavy explosions, which broke all...

Complete Defeat

I stayed drunk on lust for a very long time because I did not want to admit complete defeat.  As I have read in Step One  

Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness (Twelve

...

Fatal Disease

Is sexaholism a fatal disease?  Do I really believe that?  Or is it just some kind of allegorical “spiritual death”? The answer to that is clear for me.  My forms of acting out sexually included bondage and other extreme forms.  The last time I met with another person to act out, I was made...

From Selfishness to Unselfishness

Selfishness, Self-centredness, that we think is the root of our problems

Ah yes, selfishness and self-centeredness are always so natural just to slip into. For me, those two traits fit like a perfect and comfortable glove--but they have done a whole lot of damage to others and me....

Truly Sexually Sober

Hope For a Truly Sexually Sober Life

I'm in a good spiritual place these days and on my way to a truly sexually sober life. But six years ago, before joining Sexaholics Anonymous, I was not in such a good place. I could not find peace…or when I did, I found peace boring. I dreamed of...

Sexually Sober Today

The Sexaholics Anonymous literature reminds me that it is not enough to be sexually sober.

"If we are content with ourselves, simply minus the compulsion, there can be no recovery. Recovery is more than mere sobriety" (

...

Step Ten and Step Eleven

Working Step Ten and Step Eleven Has Strengthened My Sexual Sobriety

For me, a review of the day is a definite part of my daily Step Ten and Step Eleven work, as suggested in the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous. The AA Big Book (page 84) describes Step Ten as follows:...

Living the Solution

Wanting to "Live the Solution” of Sexaholics Anonymous

Am I living the solution? Sometimes I wonder whether I am honestly looking for a recovery solution--or is it just that I’m bothered that I'm not getting my way?  I came from a very rigid religious background.  Every time the church...

Television First Porn Next

Don’t get me started on Television! 

Television is something I simply cannot watch. I discovered this very early in lust recovery in Sexaholics Anonymous. Even if my motives were good--and even if the shows I wanted to watch were of good quality--there were just too many sick images (...

Why I chose Sexaholics Anonymous

Sexaholics Anonymous Has Given Me A Second Chance at Life

My journey to Sexaholics Anonymous began eight years ago, in a 12 Step fellowship for food addiction. I thought that I only had one problem: I could not lose weight. I thought that if I could only lose weight, everything would be...

Love Based Sexual Sobriety

White Knuckle Beginnings

For me sexual sobriety must be love based. Since I began my Sexaholics Anonymous recovery in April 2012, my sobriety has gone through a transformation from fear based to love based. At the very beginning, I was white knuckling; that is, my sobriety was based on...

Explicit Sharing

Explicit sharing is something I seldom do in Sexaholics Anonymous; in fact I don't always share lust with others at all. Most often, I first surrender my lust to God and then, if I don’t feel free from lust, I'll make a call to a program friend. However, I am often able to let go of the explicit...

Overcoming Selfishness

"Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.  Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 5

Selfishness remains...

Mixed Meetings

The White Book Says..

In our book Sexaholics Anonymous (also known as The White Book), there is an entire section on Mixed Meetings, which discusses who should be allowed into our meetings. This section is appropriately titled "Mixed Meetings" [see The White Book...

Overcoming Lust Addiction

He died a sober lust addiction sufferer

A very well-known, long-time sufferer from lust addiction and old timer in Sexaholics Anonymous was very sick. He was huffing oxygen to stay alive. He called his sponsor to tell him how sick he felt. His sponsor suggested that he reach out to a...

Staying Sexually Sober

I’m wallowing in self pity, but I’m staying sexually sober by the grace of God one moment at a time.

Lately, my wife has been disconnecting herself from me but I am staying sexually sober.  During the past couple of weeks, it's gotten to the point where my wife is telling me that she's...

Willing to Overcome Sex Addiction

How I Became Willing to Go to Any Lengths to Overcome My Lust and Sex Addiction

On pages 206-207 in the “White Book” of Sexaholics Anonymous, there is a lengthy quote from the Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book,”  titled "From Chapter Five Of Alcoholics Anonymous." Those pages end with a...

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