Select stories from recovering sex addicts

Welcome to the Members Share section of our website.

Here members of Sexaholics Anonymous share their experience, strength and hope. There are stories for everyone, from all walks of life. We hope that you can find inspiration from these shares.

Please always remember that the Member Shares are not official literature of Sexaholics Anonymous, they remain the personal opinions of their respective authors.

Fighting Lust

When I Surrender My Sexual Lust to God, I Can Be Free of It

I’ve learned from my fellow Sexaholics Anonymous members that fighting lust does not work. I can only stay sexually sober when I realize that I am powerlessness over lust. Then, when I realise that I’m powerless, I can...

Sober At Church

A Poor Church Mouse Becomes Rich

When I was active in my sex addiction, I was excommunicated from the church that I belonged to. But after six years in Sexaholics Anonymous recovery, I was finally able to let go of my resentments and misunderstandings, and then I was blessed with the...

Hope Restored

I Have Found a Solution for Overcoming My Sexual Acting Out

As described in the Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book” (page 43, third edition), I am one of the 100% hopeless type of addicts.  I expected to die as an active sex addict. I had stopped trying to stop. I was emotionally miserable...

Emotions Are Signals

Sexaholics Anonymous Helps Me Stay Sexually Sober

I am grateful for the reminder in Sexaholics Anonymous that my emotions are attached to my addiction.  I still struggle sometimes with feeling sad or lonely or ashamed or angry--or just about any other emotion that people experience.  ...

Resentments Kill

My Resentments Were All Within Me

Dealing appropriately with resentments through Sexaholics Anonymous has been one of the most life-transforming benefits of recovery for me. I came to SA because I had destroyed my marriage, destroyed my career, and was putting my life at risk.  I did...

Spiritual Condition

I need to maintain a fit spiritual condition

At times I fail to recall the effort it takes for me to surrender my sexual Iust on a daily basis.  I pretend to think that because I have such a wonderful spiritual condition--attending Sexaholics Anonymous meetings, meeting with other SA...

Hope For Freedom

I Have Found Freedom from the Compulsions of Sex Addiction

At our local face-to-face Sexaholics Anonymous meeting, we read aloud sections from approved SA literature and Alcoholics Anonymous literature for three of our four monthly meetings. In my estimation, reading together from the...

I Surrender

If I have fully accepted my Sexaholics Anonymous Step One--that I am powerlessness over my sexual acting out and my life has become unmanageable--then I have admitted that I am not God. If I am powerless over lust, and if I want to have any hope for freedom, then I must have a Power greater than...

Not God

I desperately wanted to play God

It took me a seriously long time to finally get so demoralized that I "gave up, let go, and let God.” Before finding the Sexaholics Anonymous program, I desperately wanted to play God. I was living in the delusion that I needed to be in control, and that...

Restart

Sometimes I just have to restart my day

Yesterday I was babysitting my nephew and we were playing a video game. He made a mistake, and then he clicked the "restart" button. He said "sometimes you just have to restart."  This made me smile to myself, because it reminded me of something I...

Surrender To God

Surrender is about redirecting my deepest desires to God

For me, surrender is not so much about stopping my insane sexual behaviors (although that was absolutely necessary for me to recover from lust). Surrender is about redirecting my deepest desires to God. I'm not addicted to lust...

Attitude

Sexaholics Anonymous Gave Me a New Attitude and a New Heart

Attitude is one of those words that I thought I understood when I first arrived at Sexaholics Anonymous, but really I did not understand it at all.  A new heart was one of those things that I thought I did not need when I...

Addicted To Lust

Addicted but not Hopeless

I appreciate the reminders that I’ve heard recently from my Sexaholics Anonymous fellows of what it was that I was addicted to in the past: I was addicted to lust. Lust was my drug of choice.  In the past I would use lust as the solution to all of my many...

Sexaholics Anonymous Lust Free

Sexaholics Anonymous Has Set me Free From the Bondage of Sexual Lust

Recently in a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting that I attended while traveling last week, we read the Sexaholics Anonymous (“White Book”) chapter titled "Steps Six and Seven” (pages 115-121). I thought that was a great...

Stopping Masturbation

Masturbation Desperation

I came to Sexholics Anonymous in desperation, certain that the path I was on would lead to an accidental, sordid death within a few months.  I had to stop the dangerous things I was doing. I had to. But at my first SA meeting, they told me I had to stop...

Porn Free

Celebrating One Year Porn Free Through Sexahlics Anonymous

I am grateful today for Sexaholics Anonymous, and for my one year porn free. That is a miracle! I attended my first SA meeting in June 2011, but this is the first time I have celebrated one year. God willing I will stay sober...

Freedom from Lust

Freedom From the Bondage of Lust and Sex Addiction

Lately I have heard many Sexaholics Anonymous members share with newer members on how they got through early withdrawal from lust--and my own  experience is similar to what has been shared. Actions that helped me in my early sexual...

Hidden Lust

Hidden Bottles

I heard a story told by an alcoholic who owned a big chicken farm. The man sobered up and sold the farm, but every so often he'd see the new owners, and they would inform him that they had found another bottle of liquor hidden somewhere on the farm.  They'd have a good...

God Keeps Me Sober

When I Am Rightly Connected

I have been traveling lately, and I was grateful to be able to attend a face-to-face Sexaholics Anonymous meeting in a different place on a Tuesday night. We read the chapter on Step Six (“We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of...

Positive Sobriety

Positive Sobriety Begins With Sexual Sobriety

Everything begins with sobriety. Without sobriety, there is no program of recovery. But without reversing the deadly traits that underlie our addiction, there is no positive and lasting sobriety (Sexaholics Anonymous “White Book

...

Spiritual Basis

Living Sexually Sober, Joyous, and Free Through Sexaholics Anonymous

A few weeks back I was meeting with a Sexaholics Anonymous sponsee, and we were reviewing the section in the SA “White Book,” entitled "The Spiritual Basis of Addiction" (SA, p. 45-58). I personally find this section...

Daily Step Work

Learning to Make Amends for My Sexual Harms Through Sexaholics Anonymous

The other day I was thinking about how I should make my Step Nine amends to those I have harmed. Step Nine says: "We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or...

HALT

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired Brings Me To A Halt

Today I experienced HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired). I came face-to-face with some of my long-time character defects: laziness, procrastination, perfectionism, and pride. So I shared my struggles with some of my Sexaholics...

Understand This

I Didn't Have To Understand In Order To Recover

A few weeks back I was meeting with a sponsee and reviewing the section in the Sexaholics Anonymous “White Book” entitled "The Spiritual Basis of Addiction" (SA, p. 45-58). I personally find this section quite helpful to remind me that I...

Life

Sexaholics Anonymous Has Given Me A New Life

Before coming to Sexaholics Anonymous, my life was completely out of control. It was more out of control within me than outside of me (though that was pretty disorderly as well). I was a functional sexaholic, able to hold down a job and keep...

Fighting Lust

The More I Experience the Sexaholics Anonymous Program, the Better My Life Gets!

I knew that sex addiction recovery was beginning to work for me when I was finally able to relax a bit.  As long as I was fighting lust to stay sexually sober, I was still in danger.  Throughout my life, I...

Resentment is Toxic

Resentment - the number one offender

Someone mentioned that a "long-term sober" member of Sexaholics Anonymous had acted out due to resentment toward a spouse. I can relate to that, because my sexual sobriety date is the day after I last acted out due to resentment toward my spouse....

Wanted to Stop

I wanted to stop my self-destructive thinking and behaviour

And until I wanted to stop, nothing happened.

Many Sexaholics Anonymous groups read "What Is A Sexaholic And What Is Sexual Sobriety" at the beginning of each meeting (Sexaholics Anonymous “White Book,” pg 202). This is...

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