When I Am Rightly Connected
I have been traveling lately, and I was grateful to be able to attend a face-to-face Sexaholics Anonymous meeting in a different place on a Tuesday night. We read the chapter on Step Six (“We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character”) in the Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve and Twelve. The reading was a great reminder to me of how I must remain willing to have God remove all of my character defects--and that includes fearfulness.
I found fear to be a motivator in getting started in SA. Fear motivated me to go to meetings, read the literature, and even get a sponsor and start working the Steps. But in the end, fear could not keep me from relapsing and going back to my sexual acting out. Fear just made me think that I had to work harder--to put more effort into the battle against lust. But that never worked for keeping me sexually sober for long.
God Keeps Me Sexually Sober When I Am Rightly Connected to Him
Today, I overcome lust and temptations by surrendering them to a Power greater than my lust, greater than my temptations, and greater than me and all of my efforts to "overcome" my sexual addiction in my own power. God keeps me sober as I connect rightly with Him, through the surrender of my will and life to Him in the day-to-day experiences of my life.
For me, fear means that I am still living in the illusion that it is my ability to deal with lust and temptations that will keep me sober. But that is only a lie that I tell myself. All along Sexaholics Anonymous has been teaching me that all I really need to is to make the proper connection with God, and then His power will always be sufficient for me to deal with lust and temptations. Through the fellowship of Sexaholics Anonymous, God is doing for me what I can not do for myself.