305 Of Doubt and Faith

Batch 31 #305

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. (Step 2 SA)

When in my addiction, my intellect will not keep me sober. Nothing on an intellectual level will 

stop my lusting or acting out. Thinking inside my head, weighing sobriety against acting out,

acting out wins. I know my conduct is wrong and my mind believes I should stop, but lust wins. 

Part of my giving in to lust is that, on an intellectual level, I am unsure a Higher Power would

restore me to sanity

With my Higher Power speaking to me through my fellow SAs as I worked the Steps, I learned

that lust uses my intellect to divert me from a real connection with my Higher Power, others, 

and myself. Lust, a temporary balm for my pain, lies to me by giving too much weight to my 

intellect’s doubt.

Yet, I can experience sobriety. When I live in the present, I feel a connection between myself and 

others, a deep commonality with those around me, and view them as people, not just as a means 

of gratification. 

I do not get sobriety, sobriety gets me. It shows me that as lust decreases, my wholeness as a 

person increases. In my recovery, I feel that a power greater than myself helping me back to 

sanity. It took years to get to this point and I want to keep growing in this direction.

Of doubt and Faith and things I have never known – God, restore help me to the sanity of being 

happy, joyous, and free.